One thoughtful soul has compiled the most ridiculous, obnoxious, moronic and downright guid-eriffic utterings of the Jersey Shore’s magnificent seven (or eight, depending on which episode you’re talking about). For the show’s first five episodes, my inner journalist has been itching to jot down the pearls of wisdom these guys spew out but things happen so quickly and then all of a sudden another profoundly idiot thought has been verbalized, leaving the crew’s finest musings unrecorded – or so I thought.

JerseyShoreQuotes.com breaks it down by cast member and by episode so no matter what ridiculous bon mot you’re looking for, you will surely find it. They even select the best quote from each episode, should your brain be too rattled to remember when the hour is up.

Some highlights…

• The Situation: You know what? You are excluded from dinner then, from now on you are excluded from the surf n’ turf night. You are excluded from ravioli night, you are excluded from chicken cutlet night.
• Snooki: I came home when they were putting in the lobsters, I was like yo, are those real? That’s disgusting, I’m a vet tech. Like, I save animals, I don’t kill them.
• Ronnie: Get ready to party, get out there, get filthy, creepy and weird.
• J-WOWW: I left the club early because I didn’t want to cheat on my boyfriend, and I felt like eating ham and drinkin’ water.
• Pauly: She just doesn’t want to feel like a trashbag because she has a boyfriend and she kissed me with her tongue.
• Sammi: This little shrimp thing is like bopping all around, on the circle and like doing her thing, doing backwards flips with her thong hanging out; her whole crotch is in the air.
• Vinny: I hear the music, I start fist-pumping, I start dancing, I’m pulling girls on stage and now.. Vinny came out to play.
• Angelina: I feel like this job is beneath me, I’m a bartender. I do, like, great things.

Obviously some of our friends are more quotable than others. One of my favorites from Episode 5 didn’t make JSQ, but I believe it was Vinny who said, “It might just so happen that my fists will pump in the air. It has nothing to do with New Jersey.” I found it so funny that I wrote it down but then again, I was playing the Jersey Shore drinking game, so who knows what I was thinking?

You can follow Jersey Shore Quotes on Twitter at JSQuotes. The ever-so-helpful JSQ folks also kindly rounded up all the cast members’ Twitters accounts: @ItsTheSituation @MTVDJPaulyD @Sn00ki @JENNIWOWW @vinnygmtv. Well most of them have hit the Twittersphere. Perhaps lovebirds Sammi and Ronnie want to keep their Seaside-spawn romance under wraps?