Johnny, I know how you feel. (photo graciously borrowed from Life.com via Google images)

It’s September. This churns my stomach. If I were still in high school, I’d be despondent to be back in my Catholic school uniform; in college, I’d be thrilled to be back on campus. But alas, commencement called for me quite a bit ago so nothing changes. Work still comes every Monday, but soon enough there will be no beach time dominating my weekends. Ugh.

But fret not. Aside from the fact that we still have Labor Day Weekend (a beautiful – but somber – thing unto itself), early fall at the Jersey Shore brings gorgeous weather, near-deserted watering holes and very fun events. If you’re like me (here for the long haul) or if the unofficial start of autumn brings you to points north or west, September at the Shore is the perfect way to wind down your summer soul and settle in for the fall. Before you get the Labor Day blues, check out these second-weekend-of-September events and you’ll see that it can be just as much of a party as the first.

• Jenks’ Welcome Back Locals Bash: Every year, Jenks celebrates the first weekend of the off-season with a party to herald the return of its largely local crowd. Well, they try to. Last year, a rather guido-looking fellow bumped into me near the bar and graciously offered to buy me (what else?) a Jager bomb. We chatted a little and he asked where I lived. I told him near Lavallette and he goes, “Where’s that?” Oh man. He was from Staten Island. I noticed a big-haired, long-nailed girl in his entourage giving me the eye so I backed away, lest she think I was moving in on her man. It may not be hyper-local, but for $1 bar drinks (9-11 p.m.), $2 Coors Lights and no cover, you can’t beat it. Also, Go Go Gadget will be playing and Jenks is giving away 1,000 T-shirts. They keep these deals up all winter. In fact, I’ve never been to this massive Point Pleasant Beach boardwalk club between MDW and LDW.  Friday, Sept. 11, Jenks, 300 Ocean Ave., Pt. Pleasant Beach, www.jenksclub.com

• Seaside Heights Mardi Gras Weekend: NOLA comes to SHNJ with this three-day, French Quarter-inspired fest that includes Seaside’s annual bed race from 6-8 p.m. on Friday, Sept. 11 on the boardwalk. Competition is limited to local business staffs, but this must be pretty hilarious to watch. All weekend, bars will be offering $2 Coors Lights and $4 Jeremiah Weed Sweet Tea Vodka. Starting Friday, MetroMix challenges bar-hoppers to a scavenger hunt with clues scattered throughout 15 bars and fabulous prizes promised to those who complete the task. Hunters will pay no cover at any establishment but must begin their search by 9 p.m. on either Friday or Saturday to receive the first clue. Their website offers clues for each night’s jump-off spot: Friday they urge you to meet them “under the green shamrock on the Boulevard” and Saturday you should “start out at this Ocean Resort, where Griffs Seaside Crab House is a ‘Shore Pleaser.’” Now, I don’t know but I have my guesses. (Cough, here and here, cough) This seems like a really cool event and you’ll get swag at each stop. Seafood is tops on Sunday, Sept. 13 when Seaside rolls out its annual fish festival with dishes from various restaurants and live music, including Shorty Long and the Jersey Horns at 4:15 p.m.

Shorty Long, pictured, and his Jersey Horns will rock out during Seaside Heights' Mardi Gras weekend, Sunday Sept. 13.

That’s just a smattering of what’s going on inteded to keep you from freaking out about the traditional end of summer rapidly approaching. More benefits of the fall include gloriously semi-brisk weather (not too hot, not too cold, just right in the sun), warm ocean water, and – perhaps best of all – completely empty beaches. So perk up, little campers, because I assure you, the sun still shines, the beer still flows and life goes on after Labor Day.