Johnny, I know how you feel. (photo graciously borrowed from Life.com via Google images)

It’s September. This churns my stomach. If I were still in high school, I’d be despondent to be back in my Catholic school uniform; in college, I’d be thrilled to be back on campus. But alas, commencement called for me quite a bit ago so nothing changes. Work still comes every Monday, but soon enough there will be no beach time dominating my weekends. Ugh.

But fret not. Aside from the fact that we still have Labor Day Weekend (a beautiful – but somber – thing unto itself), early fall at the Jersey Shore brings gorgeous weather, near-deserted watering holes and very fun events. If you’re like me (here for the long haul) or if the unofficial start of autumn brings you to points north or west, September at the Shore is the perfect way to wind down your summer soul and settle in for the fall. Before you get the Labor Day blues, check out these second-weekend-of-September events and you’ll see that it can be just as much of a party as the first.

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It's undeniable that this fake palm tree screams "I'm on vacation!" but it's also yelling "Totally tacky!!"

A good 75 percent of the time my family’s boat leaves our dock, the destination is Martell’s Waters Edge – a massive tiki bar accessible by both land and sea on Barnegat Bay’s western shore in Bayville. By car, it would probably take 45 minutes to get to, but a ride aboard the Barrel O’ Monkeys takes a mere 20 minutes.

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As July slips into August and we all have a temporary panic attack at how quickly summer is passing, now is the perfect time to collectively take a breath, grab a beer and catch some quality live music.

On Friday, July 31, the Surf Club’s Blue Moon Jam hosts reggae legends Eek-a-Mouse and King Yellowman. Advance tickets cost $15; cover the night of may be a little bit more. Drink specials: $4 Blue Moons, $2 24-ounce Coors Lights (a cup for the night costs $4 and refills are $2 – bring your own Surf Club cup from a previous Friday and go straight for refills).  For more deals (and a more constant stream of information about the Surf Club than you may have cared for), text Planet Surf to 46786. You’ll get texts to show at the door for reduced admission – quite helpful.

obtain cup, either by paying $4 or bringing one from home; fill up for $2 with Coors Light; repeat until standing is no longer possible.

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A South Seaside Park institution

Beginning today, South Seaside Park will come alive a little earlier than usual with the commencement of live daytime entertainment at the Berkeley Restaurant and Fish Market, located on the corner of Central and 24th Avenues (adjacent to Island Beach State Park), a Seaside area institution since its inception in 1937.

If Island Beach State Park is full (like it is today), turn to Berkeley...

“This weekend will feature our first party of the summer,” said Chris Barulic, 32, who operates the family restaurant along with his mother, Carol, and father, Nick. “We’ll have cover bands every Saturday and Sunday in our parking lot, featuring mellow ‘off the beach’ music.”

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Hemingway's Cafe is looking for some ballers tonight

Behemoth Seaside Heights bar/club Hemingway’s Cafe will host its second anniversary party and handout VIPs to all those who came out to celebrate tonight . VIP cards are mainly useful on Saturdays, when cover jumps to $10 after 11 p.m. and this valuable piece of plastic lets you jump the line that will snake from the door down to the corner. Read the rest of this entry »