Satisfied with this brief sighting, we walked on and played some skee-ball and were about to shuffle out to the pier to check out all the rides when some other very, very tan people had the same idea. J-Woww and Snooki and an entourage of crew members and security guards came barreling through. You could barely see Snooki through the crowd, but once everyone in the immediate area figured out that the Princess of Poughkeepsie was at the nucleus of the scrum, a tidal wave of people followed them out onto the pier. They went on a couple rides – including the haunted house. (Not sure what’s more frightening – the costumed people who try to scare you inside, or Snickers’ outfit – who wears furry boots in late July?!?) Pictures after the jump.

Check it out:

Ladies waiting to get on the ride: note the trucker hat.

Crowd following closely behind and a security guard futilely trying to shoo everyone away.

Deep in conversation?

During their night out on the boards, the girls stopped to play Shoot the Guido and Snooki ironically shot paintballs at a plasticized version of herself. We also saw Rhode Island’s favorite son DJ Pauly D poking his blow out out the Shore Store on the north end to talk to a security guard. Tweens formed a long, long to get into the store to have their brush with reality royalty. While all this went on, MTV security guards and Seaside Heights special police officers tried to keep the crowds from gathering around the “reality” stars and crew and anyone with a camera got scolded. How my mother (yes, my mother) was able to get these shots, I’ll never know. I stayed back and attempted to hang my head in shame that were following the world’s most famous guidettes around.

Mmmmm Sicilian...

Many, many moons ago LFJS started a pizza throwdown that left Maruca’s unchallenged for more than a year. No longer! Today, I’m throwing down the gauntlet and picking Three Brothers as my favorite slice on the boards. Sure, Maruca’s might be the media darling, playing host to Man vs. Food’s Adam Richman last month, but I’m declaring Three Brothers the pizza of the people.

Of course, everybody in these parts fancies themselves a pizza expert and the Yelp reviews are mixed. Robyn H. from Philly says 3Bros is the “best pizza on the beach,” while NYC pizza-snob Max S. says it “had as much taste to it as the paper plate it was served on.” Ah well, can’t win ‘em all. Desiree D. cautions to “stick with the plain if you have a brain though down at the boardwalk… being from the shore i know that youll get a tummy rumbler if you dont follow my advice.” (sic) However, her “being from the shore” claim is betrayed by the Brooklyn location beneath her Avatar. New Yorkers, you can’t say you’re from here. We’re sorry, but you just can’t. You’ve already sent your people here to wreak havoc for MTV’s global audiences and further tarnish our image. After that debacle, you just don’t get to weigh in on our pizza debates.

With more Boardwalk locations than I can count, you’re never far from a gigantic, crispy, cheesy slice no matter where in Seaside you find yourself. Last week, my friend Lindsey, who now lives in New Hampshire, was back at her family’s Lavallette house for a week and we planned to have dinner. We attempted to brainstorm some fabulous waterside spot to dine, but as soon as I would ask Linds where she wanted to go while she was here, the conversation always returned to Three Brothers. She just had to have a slice of Jersey Shore boardwalk pizza before returning to New England.

We hit up the Three Brothers smackdab in middle of everything across from the beach patrol office. Linds got a white slice and I went for Sicilian. I can’t resist the corner piece and this one had cheese tumbling over the edge. Two slices and two small sodas set us back about $15 (yikes!), but our post-dinner stroll and the phenomenal people-watching definitely got us more bang for our buck than any fancy waterfront locale would have.

Now, who’s throwing down for Sawmill?

The new and improved Asbury Park boardwalk

Asbury Park, a Jersey Shore beach town with a rich musical past, has recently revamped their boardwalk and is slowly making a new name for itself.  As a Monmouth County resident, I’ve always had reservations about traveling to this beachside metropolis and after 22 years, I’ve finally made the trip.

2005 marked the beginning of the new Asbury era.  Since then, many new shops, restaurants and bars line the walkway.  Langosta Lounge, McLoone’s, and the new Aqua Restaurant and Bar (which I’ve been told is rumored to have fist pumping gurus at night) are among some of the more trendy destinations on the boardwalk.

Feeling a little daring last night, my friends and I veered right into Pop’s Garage Taco Bar, which also has a location at Normandy Beach.  This tiny eatery is seat yourself either on the boardwalk overlooking the massive beach or inside their tiny quarters.  Sitting outdoors was definitely the better option as I watched not only the waves crash but the diverse crowd stroll by.  The laid back atmosphere made for the quintessential summer night.

Reminiscent of Surf Taco, with far less options, you have your choice of tacos, quesadillas and burritos, to name a few.  Their menu even includes a glossary for those of you who did not have to endure 4 years of high school Spanish such as myself.

Margaritas were had and salsa was dipped, and after my three supersized chicken quesadillas, I was stuffed.  After our South of the border adventure we continued to walk on the boardwalk to see what else Asbury had in store for us.  Music was bumping outside of The Beach Bar and Wonder Bar as these nightly bars were gearing up for a routine thirsty Thursday.

The original boardwalk in the early 20th century

Forget about your preconceived notions about Asbury Park and venture out to a new Jersey Shore destination that is slowly becoming one of Monmouth County’s hot spots.  The Asbury boardwalk is not like others I’m used to, it definitely has a historical and old fashion feel to it evocative of the 1930s, but rich history is what our lovely Jersey Shore is all about.  So come check it out the new Ocean Avenue for yourself.

Don't let its seeming-emptiness fool you. This boardwalk's about to be overrun.

Gentle readers, it is upon us. On Friday, our fair island will be inundated with seasonal owners, their guests and, yes, the dreaded Benny. For lifelong beach kids like yours truly, Memorial Day Weekend (MDW for the uninitiated) is better than Christmas. Beach, barbecue, beers, old friends – what’s not to like?

For those of you seeking entertainment outside your own backyard, here are our picks:

• Shorty Long and the Jersey Horns at the Beachcomber Thursday night at 10 p.m. Party with Shorty, definitely among my favorite Shore bands, in the boardwalk bar where Snooki got punched. Bud Light drafts are usually $1.50; there’s never a cover and when you get hungry, Steaks Unlimited is right across the street.
• If you’re an early riser, Jenks and WPLJ 95.5 will salute the unofficial start to summer with the sunrise for the 2010 Summer Blast Off with the Scott and Todd Morning Show at 6 a.m., Barenaked Ladies, Kris Allen (see, who says winning American Idol doesn’t get you anywhere?) and then Lifespeed at night.
• Hemingway’s is touting the “biggest party in Seaside Heights” from May 28-30 on its website, whatever that means.
• The Osprey in Manasquan has a cover band-eriffic weekend with Big Bang Baby, Screaming Broccoli and Bitter X Friday, Saturday and Sunday, respectively. Bad news though, you still can’t wear flip flops.

Were I you, I’d probably stay away from MTV’s magnificent 7’s favorite hotspots this weekend. Save Bamboo and Karma for another time, friends.

Another thing to remember, prices are going to jump higher than Snickers’ poof this weekend on just about everything. Last summer, a 2.5 mile cab ride from Used to Be’s to my house cost $60, which we should have negotiated before getting in the taxi. The Ortley Beach McDonald’s banishes their dollar menu beginning MDW, although hours have been extended to round-the-clock, so find late-night snacks elsewhere. Also, the invasion of horrendous drivers has already begun so be extra careful.

We’ll be tweeting with #MDW10 all weekend and you should too! Happy summer!!

shorty!

Sawmill, we hardly know ye anymore.

This week, Jersey Shore Metromix compiled a photo gallery entitled Closed at the Jersey Shore with shots of dearly departed watering holes. I haven’t been of the legal drinking age long enough to mourn the dive bars that my parents’ generation misses, nor has my social life lost any significant spots. However, while it still stands, the Sawmill is a fraction of what it once was. Ever since the Seaside Park Borough Council voted in 2008 to change the town’s closing time to midnight, this boardwalk staple hasn’t been the same.

Quite frankly, I miss having another place to go see bands, dance and drink cheap beer. You could easily make a whole night of hanging out at the Sawmill, unlike its tinier counterparts that dot the Seaside boards. There was excellent people watching to be had from the stools near the open windows on the lower level and a bird’s eye view of the entire boardwalk undulating northward from the massive upstairs.You could dance on the Green Room’s giant dance floor (why the upstairs area had a different name is beyond me); you could sit at the many tables and play cards or watch the crowd pass by.

Remember Holla for a Dolla? (Forgive the unfortunate spelling; it’s not my doing.) That was awesome – $1 Miller Lites, $1 shots, $1 giant slices of pizza. And the Thursday night mug deal where a bartender would fill your commemorative Sawmill mug with Coors Light or Yuengling for 50 cents. Sadly, my mug now holds pens and pencils in a box under my desk. I’m sure they still have these same deals, but now the bouncers have to start herding everyone out at 11:30 p.m. Not quite the same.

This weekend, I’m bringing that mug home and pouring some beer out of it on the ground for our fallen friend.

Finding parking at the Jersey Shore is a war zone.

Summer 2010 is rapidly approaching and New Jersey natives are counting down the days until Memorial Day weekend. This highly anticipated unofficial start of summer means you can break out your summer white (a rule I never quite followed), head to the beach, and much to my dismay drive up and down tiny one way blocks for an exorbitant amount of time in search of the holy grail of parking spots.

As someone who has to endure a 20 minute speed race down Route 18 in order to reach my favorite coast, I am often greeted with a battle royale against soccer moms, teens, locals, and the dreaded guidos for my primo spot.  I kid you not, last summer as my friend and I took a break
from melting in the sun at Pier Village and walked to the long line of
shops for lunch, we stopped in our tracks as we heard a loud altercation
brewing.

Before we knew it people were lining the boardwalk to watch a 20-something year old male duke it out with a middle aged dad. Profanity was exchanged, punches were thrown, and the cops were not too far behind…all over a parking spot!

From where I stood in the crowd it seemed as though the younger male was attempting to stand in the spot, reserving it for his friend, while the older male deemed that not to be a viable option. Mr. Dad decided to just inch his oversized SUV into the VIP spot. The rest is history.

Now my friends and I on the other hand have our own creative ways of getting around this ever so frustrating parking system, especially at Pier Village. There is a ridiculous amount of parking given solely to the lucky elite who get to live in these luxurious beach front apartments, the rest of the complex only allows for limited 2-hour parking for beach goers and shoppers alike. I don’t know about you but I find it rather annoying to get up when I’m soaking up some quality rays to move my Jeep from spot A to spot B.

At times I thought I was invincible and chose to live on the wild side, not moving my car, which has resulted in a hefty $50 ticket (thanks Mom for paying that) but since then I’ve utilized my devious frame of mind and have yet to get caught. I may or may not regret sharing this, but hey if I can help my fellow beach bums out, why not.

While doing some Sherlock Holmes-esque investigating I noticed that the Long Branch Police were driving around marking peoples tires with that annoying line of chalk to keep track of their time spent in the parking lot. It just so happened on this particular day I was able to bag a spot so close to the beach that it almost killed me to give it up. So what did I do you ask? That’s simple, got out my water bottle, had my friend be on the lookout, and pour my water over my tire and asphalt so that the chalk mark washed away. Some of you may laugh at this, but this is the closet I’ve been to messing with the law.

It may look suspicious to officers walking up and down the aisle to see a puddle of water strategically splattered next to just one tire so my friends and I have gone to such extremes of moving the car ever so slightly so that the tracks don’t match as well as giving all four of our tires a nice bath so that it’s not traceable.  I have yet to get caught, and I also probably just jinxed myself as I type this.

Other beaches that are just a downright disaster to park at are Belmar and Point Pleasant.  Don’t even bother driving toward 16^th Street in Belmar, not only will you be welcomed by throngs of high school kids in their itty bitty bikinis and UGG boots but you will also gain about 10 years on your life just looking for a spot near that infamous Dunkin’ Donuts. I’ve had many years of experience duking it out for spots and Belmar is a death trap.

Point Pleasant is another war zone when it comes to parking. I don’t normally go to Point Pleasant during the day; it has always been more of a boardwalk nighttime hotspot for me. Last summer my friends and I wanted to try out our newly 21-year-old lifestyle at Martell’s Tiki Bar for some daytime drinking. We shouldn’t have been surprised that the parking was horrendous.

One would think that my friend’s itsy bitsy Beetle (yes she drives one of those) would be an easy advantage to squeezing in tight spots but boy were we wrong. Driving up and down the extremely packed residential streets gets tiring and before you know it every passenger in the car is agitated and the driver is just about to jump through the roof.

There is a municipal parking lot at the very end of the boardwalk that is metered and a quarter buys you 20 minutes. There are also a few private pay lots that charge from $4.00 to $12.00 depending on the crowds and the time of year. Much to our dismay we coughed up the dough and threw up our hands for the private pay lot which had a very long line might I add.

Don’t let my parking nightmares deter you from heading to the beach this season, because I’m still going and discovering new ways to find faster, easier, and cheaper parking. We all might as well help each other out, because the last thing I want to do is get my precious time in the sun via sunroof as I drive aimlessly up and down Ocean Ave.  See you all behind the wheel!

Rockin' the boards off season

More about our plans for the site to come, but for now… suffice to say, it’ll be pretty much the opposite of this:

Yes, the Jersey Shore for the rest of us. So get ready, summer is right around the corner.