In case you can't read the very light, fine script, Hook's-goers are warned of the following: "You are about to walk the plank at Captain Hook's Inn. Eat, drink and be merry." If only all hosts were this threatening/hospitable.

Imagine your favorite arcade as a kid. Then, picture a bar with $7 Bud Light pitchers inside and slap on a piratical theme. Sounds tremendous, right? Captain Hook’s at the northern end of Seaside Heights is the ideal hangout spot for the 12-year-old in all of us. The vibe is very laid back and casual. If you wear high heels or anything fancier than jeans, you will feel silly – that’s a guarantee. There’s never a cover (that I know of, anyway) and as mentioned above, pitchers are cheap (alas, not as cheap as my haunt of choice in college – $3 Miller Lite pitchers on Fridays at Chuck’s – you couldn’t beat it. Not even with a stick.)  and domestic drafts run about $2.

A statue of the watering hole’s namesake greets you at the door. Undoubtedly, you will have a few too many beers and pose with the Captain for some regrettable pictures.

Ahoy, captain! Care for a game of air hockey?

Walk farther back and you’ll find every possibly diversion your inebriated soul could ever hope for. There are gigantic side-by-side basketball games so you can challenge a pal to a round of hoops. There’s an air hockey table with a fancy overhead scoring box. (Caution: the goals are extremely sensitive and can register even a brief brush with the puck as a score. If you’re like me, this will work to your advantage and you will receive many more points than you deserve. Also, your boyfriend will harbor bitter resentment over this for more than a year.) There’s a ping pong table and long tables to play Beiruit on when it’s not crowded.

Hoops to shoot at Hook's

There are of course the old stand-bys of darts, pool,  foosball, shuffleboard and a variety of video games. The bar has plenty of tables for those who wish to park it and play card games. One sad, snowy night in December, my dad, cousin, friend and I got into a heated dart match. OK, it was my birthday and said snowiness precluded pretty much everyone from coming down to hang out, hence the random crowd. But even then, in all my bummed-out-ness that my birthday wasn’t the monster bash I imagined, we still had an awesome time. We challenged some other people who were also crazy enough to brave the storm to a game of beer pong.

As far as Seaside bars go, Hook’s is unassuming, low-key, totally under the radar and almost always a great time. They don’t even have a Web site, let a lone a Twitter account. If you’re looking for strobe lights and techno music, it won’t hit the spot but if you’re just looking to hang out, this is your place.

What may not initially catch your eye but is certainly worth close inspection and appreciation is the bar itself. Hook’s has taken thoughtful care to construct a bar that looks exactly like a wooden boat. (Or maybe it washed up on the Boulevard and the bar was constructed around it? We’ll never know. That’s not true, actually, I just didn’t think to ask anyone.)

A pretty lass guides the bow of the ship/bar - a vessel you'll find to be filled with potent potables.

Captain Hooks Bar
1320 Boulevard
Seaside Heights
(732) 830-0006