Finding parking at the Jersey Shore is a war zone.

Summer 2010 is rapidly approaching and New Jersey natives are counting down the days until Memorial Day weekend. This highly anticipated unofficial start of summer means you can break out your summer white (a rule I never quite followed), head to the beach, and much to my dismay drive up and down tiny one way blocks for an exorbitant amount of time in search of the holy grail of parking spots.

As someone who has to endure a 20 minute speed race down Route 18 in order to reach my favorite coast, I am often greeted with a battle royale against soccer moms, teens, locals, and the dreaded guidos for my primo spot.  I kid you not, last summer as my friend and I took a break
from melting in the sun at Pier Village and walked to the long line of
shops for lunch, we stopped in our tracks as we heard a loud altercation
brewing.

Before we knew it people were lining the boardwalk to watch a 20-something year old male duke it out with a middle aged dad. Profanity was exchanged, punches were thrown, and the cops were not too far behind…all over a parking spot!

From where I stood in the crowd it seemed as though the younger male was attempting to stand in the spot, reserving it for his friend, while the older male deemed that not to be a viable option. Mr. Dad decided to just inch his oversized SUV into the VIP spot. The rest is history.

Now my friends and I on the other hand have our own creative ways of getting around this ever so frustrating parking system, especially at Pier Village. There is a ridiculous amount of parking given solely to the lucky elite who get to live in these luxurious beach front apartments, the rest of the complex only allows for limited 2-hour parking for beach goers and shoppers alike. I don’t know about you but I find it rather annoying to get up when I’m soaking up some quality rays to move my Jeep from spot A to spot B.

At times I thought I was invincible and chose to live on the wild side, not moving my car, which has resulted in a hefty $50 ticket (thanks Mom for paying that) but since then I’ve utilized my devious frame of mind and have yet to get caught. I may or may not regret sharing this, but hey if I can help my fellow beach bums out, why not.

While doing some Sherlock Holmes-esque investigating I noticed that the Long Branch Police were driving around marking peoples tires with that annoying line of chalk to keep track of their time spent in the parking lot. It just so happened on this particular day I was able to bag a spot so close to the beach that it almost killed me to give it up. So what did I do you ask? That’s simple, got out my water bottle, had my friend be on the lookout, and pour my water over my tire and asphalt so that the chalk mark washed away. Some of you may laugh at this, but this is the closet I’ve been to messing with the law.

It may look suspicious to officers walking up and down the aisle to see a puddle of water strategically splattered next to just one tire so my friends and I have gone to such extremes of moving the car ever so slightly so that the tracks don’t match as well as giving all four of our tires a nice bath so that it’s not traceable.  I have yet to get caught, and I also probably just jinxed myself as I type this.

Other beaches that are just a downright disaster to park at are Belmar and Point Pleasant.  Don’t even bother driving toward 16^th Street in Belmar, not only will you be welcomed by throngs of high school kids in their itty bitty bikinis and UGG boots but you will also gain about 10 years on your life just looking for a spot near that infamous Dunkin’ Donuts. I’ve had many years of experience duking it out for spots and Belmar is a death trap.

Point Pleasant is another war zone when it comes to parking. I don’t normally go to Point Pleasant during the day; it has always been more of a boardwalk nighttime hotspot for me. Last summer my friends and I wanted to try out our newly 21-year-old lifestyle at Martell’s Tiki Bar for some daytime drinking. We shouldn’t have been surprised that the parking was horrendous.

One would think that my friend’s itsy bitsy Beetle (yes she drives one of those) would be an easy advantage to squeezing in tight spots but boy were we wrong. Driving up and down the extremely packed residential streets gets tiring and before you know it every passenger in the car is agitated and the driver is just about to jump through the roof.

There is a municipal parking lot at the very end of the boardwalk that is metered and a quarter buys you 20 minutes. There are also a few private pay lots that charge from $4.00 to $12.00 depending on the crowds and the time of year. Much to our dismay we coughed up the dough and threw up our hands for the private pay lot which had a very long line might I add.

Don’t let my parking nightmares deter you from heading to the beach this season, because I’m still going and discovering new ways to find faster, easier, and cheaper parking. We all might as well help each other out, because the last thing I want to do is get my precious time in the sun via sunroof as I drive aimlessly up and down Ocean Ave.  See you all behind the wheel!