It's undeniable that this fake palm tree screams "I'm on vacation!" but it's also yelling "Totally tacky!!"

A good 75 percent of the time my family’s boat leaves our dock, the destination is Martell’s Waters Edge – a massive tiki bar accessible by both land and sea on Barnegat Bay’s western shore in Bayville. By car, it would probably take 45 minutes to get to, but a ride aboard the Barrel O’ Monkeys takes a mere 20 minutes.

The Barrel O'Monkeys tied up to a buoy.

Boaters are faced with two options: tying up at one of Waters Edge’s many docks, or hooking up to a mooring buoy – probably the best choice for windy days. A pontoon boat ferries new arrivals to the restaurant from the buoys. The boat even includes tipping suggestions for its driver. Frankly, I’m thinking about applying for next summer.

Apparently you can become independently wealthy ferrying people from their boat to the bar. Who knew?

Last Saturday, 10 of us happily slurped away at frozen drinks and had lunch on the deck while the Jersey Duet played classic rock covers.  Waters Edge doesn’t mess around: our waitress asked us specifically what brand of liquor we wanted in our daiquiris, coladas and margaritas. I went with light Bacardi in my surprisingly creamy pina colada. I suspect ice cream was involved and I didn’t mind one bit. (Well, only after the first one – two proved to be far too filling and I should have switch to light beer and saved myself the ungodly amount of calories.) Meghan, who wasn’t nearly as choosy in selecting what tequila went into her marg, called her drink “delightfully refreshing,” so much so that she had three and got quite tipsy for 1 p.m.

Pure brain-freeze-inducing deliciousness

Lunch, like the drinks, was terrific. You don’t know what a basket of fried objects does for a hangover. One of the specialties at both Martell’s is Island Jammers – shrimp that’s been breaded and fried with cheddar cheese and served with a spicy dipping sauce. I know, I know it sounds super weird but don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. These cheesy, crunchy little guys are tremendous. Chicken fingers and mozzarella sticks were standard (and tasty). Meg’s grilled cheese on sourdough looked really good, with just the right cheese-to-bread ratio. From past experience, I’d highly recommend the wings. They come with buffalo on the side, so you have to work a little bit but it’s worth it.

From $7 frozen concoctions to $9 wraps, Waters Edge may seem pricy but when you compare it to other Shore prices and include the tropical, vacation-y atmosphere, it’s not so bad. My dad may not agree with that, but he should have thought about that before offering to take six 21-25 year-olds out on his boat to a bar.

Crowds flock to the bar on a recent Saturday.

Waters Edge also has live entertainment almost every day. Thursday, Friday and Saturday bands play all day. If you’re on the fence about going, their Web site features views from three different web cams so you can check out the scene before you commit to heading over.

Martell’s Waters Edge is south of Good Luck Point Marina and due west of Buoy G-37. For landlubbers, it’s at 125 Bayview Ave., Bayville.